[ooc] ok kids im back. i know its been a long time but i will try to just strat from where i left off i love you guys im sorry i left for so long. i got into a lot of dumb shit and my grandfather whom i was close with had passed.

his death has actually caused me to be quite a bitter person i have a lot of anger in me and it makes me really uncomfortable and sad because i never really felt anger like this?? its not like a surface sort of anger its not something that can be yelled off and punching holes in walls cant fix the anger. its so deep and dark within me, almost begging me to kill myself as well. i started drinking a bit just because its the only thing that cures this sort of disgusting bitter growling monster within me. i dont plan on being an alcoholic. my grandpa never drank and seeing me like this would probably upset him so im trying to better myself.

its just weird cuz i dont believe in heaven and he never did either but hes such a sweet man and its like how could someone so full of laughter and smiles just disappear? just end? so im trying to believe in something just to help me cope with him. i pretend hes sitting next to me jsut to make me feel better but i am still angry its like this weird black eel like dragon caressing my mind with poisonous thoughts. i suffer from a personality disorder and depression so coping isnt as easy for me?? especially alone. and i feel very alone. very very alone.

so im going to play as tryndamere because i guess this is sort of how he feels? right? his grief caused his rage? so i am not alone? even if he is fictional i have that connection with him now? one i never really had before. i know what he would say to aatrox because i know what i would say to my grandpas doctors.

ghost is back and sort of dead inside.

_{H e grumbled.  “You…”  Tryndamere huffed.  “Jayce, are a good looking fellow. You see before you think I am flirting with you as a giggling girl would, I am not.   I am only answering the questions given. To be clear.”  He cracked his knuckles with his face as red as a fresh apple.  “One, Jayce.}  

_{“Two…  Uh…  Probably that Noxian fellow with the battle axe…  A little on the older side…  O!  Yes, Darius I believe.}

_{“And the third would indeed be…  Trundle.”  Tryndamere gave a dark smirk.  “I jest.  Fucker is as ugly as a mutilated corpse, it’d be Braum.”}